Author Archives: Amy McTear

You Can Eliminate These 3 Forms of Self-Sabotage:

Simply By Deciding You’re Worthy of Your Dreams

We do not give ourselves enough credit. We are powerful. But, we often use our power to sabotage ourselves. The true influencers of our success are our own inner voices.

At one time, there was a singular, unified voice within you – your one true voice, waiting to guide you every step of the way. Now, you likely host a gaggle of internalized voice-over that doesn’t align with who you meant to be.

It’s Time To Consider The Crew You Keep

“I consider every day we don’t die a success.” -Fear, 2015 Pixar/Disney Film Inside Out

It took a while for each of us to build this inner cast of characters. Likely, a few dominate those 8 precious inches between your ears. They push their negative agenda and repurpose their message across many scenarios in your life. And, they often do so under the guise that they’re keeping you safe.

We get addicted to their bad news, their dramatic reels and eery headlines. We don’t notice anymore how they devastate us and sabotage us before we even start our day.

We once expected happiness. We once anticipated that our reality would match our dreams. But we were slowly conditioned to the cultural myth that dreams are for children or a lucky few, or just a temporary means of escape.

Remember How It Was

“Work and play are words used to describe the same thing under differing conditions.” -attributed to Mark Twain

Remember leaping out of bed??

Remember when the day was dedicated to exploration and play???

There was a time when you flowed organically from one point of interest to the next. You instinctually searched for something to light you up inside. You’d find it and engage. You’d create in response to it and it would lead you somewhere else. You were finding your place in the world. You were generating dreams.

But, then you got the message from culture that this inner navigation system was actually a flaw within you, original sin, a mistake, something that would get you into trouble.

And so began the overhaul of how you surfaced into each day. You abided by an outer authority. You learned to sit in chairs for long periods of time. Your focus was forced and you were rewarded when you followed instructions. Sacred exploration was replaced by toil and useful, remunerative work.

The one true voice within you was demoted and a host of extrinsic banter crowded the inner space. Unbeknownst to you, you were in training to be someone else.

The Practicality of Dreaming

Culturally conditioned voices are sneaky. They convince us we are unworthy of our own greatest visions. They program us to distrust our imagination and dismiss our dreams, when dreaming is step 1 in delivering our most valuable contribution.

We are born with an instinct to reach out and engage. We are wired to find something we care about deeply and then become a caretaker of it. We are inventors, creators and problem solvers. If left to our own devices, each of us would alter and improve our own small part of the web in some way. We’d feel better and create a better world at the same time. It is time we remember this.

Your One True Voice Is The Executor of Your Mission

“Your calling is where your deep gladness meets the world’s deep need.”- Frederick Buechner

You one true voice might be muffled, but it is undoubtably still present. It is so essential to the blueprint of a human being that it can’t be removed. It continues to send you signals on a daily basis, prompting you in the direction of your goals and the gifts that your soul intended to magnify into this reality. When you retune to its resonance your reality is very different.

I’ve learned to recognize the tone of my one true voice. It is even-keeled, no-nonsense and it fears nothing. It knows what I need to do, even if I resist. It doesn’t make excuses or waiver. It has no capacity for small talk. It’s clear, but it isn’t forceful. It respects my choice to ignore it.

Whether I am worthy or not is not even on its radar. It has one job – to direct me to that mystical confluence of where I light up and the world needs my light.

My one true voice knows I am here to evolve myself and uplift the whole. It signals me through my dreams, my imagination. It’s objective is to help me become my best self and make my most profound contribution.

Forget Being Good Enough

“Martin Luther King, that man never had a dream. That dream had him. People don’t choose dreams. Dreams choose them. So the question I am getting to is do you have the courage to grab the dream that picked you, that befits you and grips you, or will you let it get away and slip through? -Prince Ea, EVERYBODY DIES, BUT NOT EVERYBODY LIVES short film

I hope that you’re beginning to understand that being good enough or capable isn’t the question. The question is: Will you accept the adventure of your life and say yes to the dream that has you?

You are accountable to the mysterious longings and desires that visit you consistently. Your one true voice is messaging you and it is up to you to make sense of it. You are answerable to your dreams.

When you know this, when you truly understand the reason why you and everyone else was born, these 3 forms of self-sabotage disengage. They no longer have a role to play in your reality:

1. Procrastination

When you fully understand that your most inspired dreams have efficacy and purpose in guiding you to your own success and the better world you seek, you’re like a child again who can’t tolerate sleeping in because it means less time to play and explore. Every day is a wondrous treasure hunt. To procrastinate is to delay your fulfillment. You’re eager to enact that beautiful vision you have for your life.

You trust and listen carefully to your one true voice. You discern your wants, needs, cares. Finding your unique role in this world is your most sacred task. Procrastination is a form of damming up the stream. You’re well aware that it hinders your own well being and that of the whole web of life.

You expect to hit bumps and run into roadblocks, but you don’t resist because you know they simply indicate you need to listen more carefully. They are clues about which way to go.

2. Playing It Safe

When you remember that you were born to live out the dream that befits and grips you, you aren’t even tempted to choose the known or societally sanctioned path. You aim for the bullseye of your own life calling, forging your path as you go. You go for precisely what you want. Its not good enough to just get close. You know your job is to distill the dream that has you, and to match your inner and outer reality.

You know it involves risk, and you trust you’ll be guided. You craft your most potent life by being absolutely true to yourself and taking action. You don’t swallow your voice, dull your expression or endlessly crave external validation. You don’t need to prove your worth because your worth is intrinsic. You stop trying to perfect yourself. You act now instead.

3. Self-Destructive Behavior

Knowing you’re a vital part of the web challenges you to a higher accountability and a deeper sense of self-worth. You take responsibility for and value your own wellbeing.

It’s clear to you that your body is your vehicle for manifestation. It’s necessary for the fulfillment of your dreams and the only one you got. You educate yourself on how to take the best care of it you can.

It is of primary importance to maintain physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health and be at your absolute best. You learn by trial and error what agrees with you and what doesn’t. You learn how to balance your emotions and your thoughts so they support you in living out your purpose.

Conclusion

The beliefs and commands that come from our own unconscious determine our success. We will never eliminate the voices in our heads, but we can become more conscious of them.

Once aware of the crew you keep, you can begin to break your unconscious identification with them. You are less persuaded by their urgency and are free to act and speak without their burdensome influence. The crew inside is no longer running the show, and you are far more capable of identifying and being guided by your one true voice.

All of us, by virtue of being human, are worthy of our dreams and more than that, we are accountable. When this is your cosmology, you easily access the motivation and trust needed to venture forth, persist and succeed.

Mastering your inner voices and giving the reigns back to the one true voice within you enables you to manifest your best life and make your most potent contribution.

Ready to start?

Call To Action

If you want to reprogram negative beliefs and align with your unique purpose to acheive your goals, download my 15-min brainwave entrainment & affirmations musical track: “Inner-Verse”.

Click here to get your FREE track right now!

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Radically Reframing Your Life

If you’ve been around the block when it comes to personal growth and there are still areas of your life that are not living up to your heart’s desire, I assure you that you are not alone.

There is a tribe of Wayshowers, ‘Seasoned Seekers’ I call them, who are fully active in their role of helping others, who have hit an impasse within in themselves. They are flustered that they haven’t been able to breakthrough to the next level of fulfillment, whether that is a fuller expression of themselves in the world, a shift in their relationships, a better financial situation, or the desired improvement to their health. They know what they want to achieve and, in many cases, have spent many years working on it, and yet they haven’t fully succeeded in manifesting their dream.

If this is you, most importantly, I urge you not to compromise on your vision. Your most inspired dreams have efficacy and purpose in leading you to your own success and the better world we all seek. (We Need You!)

Secondly, what you may not realize is that there are key points along the path that require a radical reframing on a very deep level, or things cannot really change. You are likely running an old operating system that doesn’t  match the latest version of your capacity to dream. You get my drift? Things don’t work that way, no matter how great the new vision.

The first step is determining what operating system, or underlying storyline, you are working with. Just like many of us are confused about this detail with regard to our own computers, I venture to say there are more who are unaware of the story that is shaping their perception of reality.

I often ask clients when we begin working together: What do you believe at the most fundamental level, about life, your value, your reason for being? Like most modern humans, it is a story of limitation, fraught with defeating beliefs that run counter to their high-minded vision for their life. No wonder they aren’t succeeding in achieving what they want.

I learned this about myself some years ago, and I still need apply this when I feel stuck. When I know what I want but I don’t experience flow, I know that I need to examine what underlying template might be interfering. I know it is time to upgrade the operating system, a process that happens over time. These are times for us all to question the story we tell ourselves about who we are and why we are here. These are times to rewrite that story in our own consciousness so that it can eventually spill out into the collective consciousness. What template underlies your view of life? This is the first step to achieving your dreams….

 

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Our Inhumanity

bexykijipqe-valentina-aleksandrovnaProbably not news to you, but current research substantiates that human beings are an exceptionally cruel species. Evidence of our shadowy nature is ubiquitous throughout society, with particularly high concentrations reflected to us ad nauseam via our own news media and entertainment channels.

Why do we do this? Why are we obsessed with viewing our dark side? Unique to humans and to human beings in this time period, we mainline these reflections of our inhumanity. The intensity and scope of our exposure are over-the-top and only intensifying. Many of us turn to numbing ourselves because, hell, we cannot change the world. Hmmm…or, can we?

Evolutionary psychology credits our appetite for bad news to the fact that human brain development occurred in the hunter-gatherer phase of our evolution. In those early stages, attention to pending danger meant survival. We are caught in a mammalian brain loop of sorts. I wonder, though, could there be a higher evolutionary purpose to our current addiction to drama?

I see us in the midst of a massive research and development project. I think we are processing our inhumanity in order to understand ourselves at a new level. For us to grow beyond our violent tendencies, we have to own our inhuman (haha, proof that we don’t yet) shadow. Prerequisite to world peace is each of us to attending to the violence that airs in the space between our own two ears.

An adages that got my attention many years ago to this day always gets a giggle out of me is, “You wouldn’t go to dinner with someone who spoke to you the way your own mind does.” Laughably and also eerily true, it has inspired me to cultivate an inner crew that I not only will dine with, but am fully willing to spend the night with. 😉

Eyes up, though chaos and division ensue, I believe we are on a fast track to evolution. Disturbing as it is, we just might be disturbing ourselves for a reason. Chances are, we will continue to get the feedback that numbing ourselves is futile and simply prolongs the suffering. Eventually, we will realize our power to choose and define ourselves according to our greater potential and our inherent purpose. We can do this – Happy Spring!

 

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Enlisting The 3rd Side

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“If the imagination cannot or does not create a new direction, the will can only move in a circle.” – Michael Yapko, Ph.D.

How much fighting, yelling, postcard writing will it take to get the other side to agree? Is agreement even possible?

In my house, we have a new (somewhat torturous) pass time of flipping back and forth between CNN & Fox News to marvel at the diametrically opposed reporting of current events. Reconciliation looks near impossible.

Bill Ury, American author of Getting to Yes and conflict resolution expert says the secret to achieving peace is the 3rd side. The 3rd side are those committed to standing in community around the disagreement, willing to put their view point aside in order to understand the underlying concerns and despair behind the two positions. The role of the 3rd side is to continuously take the 2 sides to the balcony, focusing their attention on their common-good desires so they can meet at the table and attack the problems rather than each other.

While on the surface things are very troubling and tense, I dare say we are in the midst of updating our species credo. Yes, the optimist in me says if we can hang in there and learn peaceful conflict resolution, that this is the birth of a new cosmology for humanity. If you listen behind the positions to what we are debating, we are collectively dissecting our core beliefs around what is right, just, humane. It’s high time.

Playing fields are changing. In this world conversation, voices are weighing in from all corners of the globe. Through our actions and missteps, I am confident that the most coherent path will make itself obvious to us, hopefully without much further destruction and harm.

In times that call for our activism in the world, it is more vital than ever that we do our inner work by addressing our own fears that make us want to annhilate the opposing viewpoint.  We need to recognize that when this urge arises, that we are feeling deeply threatened. Our job is to attend to that first consciously and compassionately, reminding ourselves who is boss.  And, once we can reclaim our inherent power, it is much easier to have compassion for the other side, which is where Bill Ury says that peace begins….

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Decide Who’s Boss

cxj7iaiqos4-stefan-raynerIts pretty simple. We must decide who’s boss. We will never have total control over outer circumstances and other people, but when it comes to our state of being, we are the ones ultimately in control. And, my friends, this is where it really matters, as our state of being is what truly determines our experience of reality.

If you find yourself fearful these days, or waking up in the middle of the night haunted by what you witnessed on the news…if  you drag yourself out of bed most mornings anything short of brimming with hope, then I challenge you to look at what part of you has given authority to a dissonant, vibrationally-foreign storyline.

I have found myself here more than once, recently. And then I remind myself, I hold the highest office in the land when it comes to how I feel, what I believe is possible. I determine the quality and conditions of my life. It is not some person in public office, unless I decide to let their story trump mine. We must not be too swept away by the tales of these times. We have to maintain our hold on the steering wheel.

Our dispirited cultural myths have conditioned us to do this. Generations of humans have believed an outer authority determines their fate. That was our collective child consciousness. We are growing up now. Yes, it is not all up to us. There is a force of mystery in the universe that we play with, that the rishis of India called ‘Leela’.  I call it life, which to me feels best in describing it’s ineffable quality. You can call it God, love, energy or whatever you are comfortable with. We are in partnership with this force. It’s a collaboration. But as a whole, I believe we totally underestimate our power in this partnership.

Try this: Change your attitude. Ingest a diet high in positive thoughts . Set aside time each day for intentional day dreaming about your life. Not the fantasies about what you fear, but the fantasies about what you would love to do, who you would love to be, if anything were possible, if it were up to you to write the script…because it is.

 

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Calling On The Big Self

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Ya know that part of you that tells you exactly what you need – that inner, often rogue voice that has no interest in pleasing, that will defy the voice of reason and resist demands for productivity if little you is out of integrity with who you are and why you are here?

Yeah, we’re talking Big You, whose sole purpose is to maintain your trajectory toward your soul purpose. Big You has its eye on your best life, optimal heath and wellbeing, and most importantly, you being able to successfully bring the full gift of you into this world.

What happens when you listen to Big You? What happens when you don’t?

Cultural myths train us to attach our sense of self-worth to how much we get done and how we measure up to outer standards. Each of us came here to do something specific, something unique. We are on a mission to give something and to grow something in ourselves. The answer for what to do and how to do it is not anywhere “out there”.

My 6th Tracking Wonder #Quest2017 prompt today comes from author JOCELYN K GLEIHow can you shift your focus from “keeping busy” to “leaving a legacy”?   

I have begun a practice of listening each morning. Before I get out of bed, I allow for 15-20 minutes of silently connecting with my inner being. I start by becoming aware of my inner body, especially the region of my heart. I recall my deepest desires, feel into what I want to do while I am on this earth, who I imagine myself being and how I want to love.
I place all my attention on this energy and as I do, it grows. I enjoy this 15-20 minutes of basking in who I truly am. I feel the power and intelligence of this greater self. Feelings of struggle, separation and aloneness diminish.
I rise, make my smoothie and tea, and begin sculpting my day. I run an integrity check once I am finished my to-do list, making sure that all tasks aligns with the vision of my Big Self.
With Big Self in the ultimate driver seat, my mind is able to release the the burden of having to figure out how to make it all happen. In fact, I have learned that the mind can slow our progress by getting over involved in the “how”.  It really is not the job of the mind, but of the Big Self.  More on that later!
#Legacy

 

 

 

 

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Go With Oneself – Lead

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I hear consensus among clients, colleagues and friends is that this is no time to hang back. The current state of affairs in our world is summoning our participation and leadership like never before. Something evolutionarily significant is happening here and there seems to be a great deal at stake.

Big Self – the one within us that is here on purpose – is watchful and ready to take it’s place among the architects of this new phase. We are called to live by our convictions and offer our input in new and profound ways…

When my kids were young, I was something of a superpower. They attributed far greater omniscience to me than was warranted – a normal and necessary phase in childhood and one of the delightful perks of early parenthood. As they each grow, the playing field begins to level and they of course eventually realize, I ain’t all that.  Surrendering one’s parental high hat is a rite of passage and necessary so they can lead.

This is the phase I see humanity in right now. As we emerge from our species childhood, we are naturally questioning authority, losing faith in our leaders and enduring the chaos that comes with breaking our dependence. We are becoming more aware of our individual creative and generative power  – the authority within us, questioning, exploring and struggling to define who we are in this world. Each of us is getting an auspicious chance to reflect personally on who we are, why we are here and how we will lead. It takes courage to follow through, to step up and bring ourselves into life.

“Where are you going to go deeper this year, where can you be brave enough to bring forth even more of yourself — to infuse your work, creativity and business with that which is uniquely YOU, thus inspiring others to do more of the same? What could that look like in 2017 for you? #BringYouForward”  (#Quest 2017 prompt by Kristen Noel)

This same self-reflection is occurring in the collective consciousness. Humanity is in the process of reassessing it’s identity and role in the universe.

Who are we? Why are we here? How and what will we create? 

The pronounced disagreement and conflict, particularly in the social-political sphere, is reflective of the many opinions. This is a time of gathering up ideas and each weighing in. But, beware, fear makes us believe we have to compete with our opinions, annihilate or dehumanize the opposing point of view.

Beneath fear is awareness of our unity. And, unity consciousness illuminates that, yes, we are accountable to bring ourselves forward, stay tuned and involved, but also trusting of this evolutionary process.

I have faith that our illusions about who we are will not sustain us. I trust humanity will arrive at a collective truth and a deep remembering that will inform us in recreating our world.

This post was inspired by my colleague, Brit Bravos post: How are you being called to be brave and lead in 2017? And, Tracking Wonder’s free online, annual event Quest 2017 and the above prompt by  Kristen Noel.

 

 

 

 

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Well Within

so_grdf3sto-marco-de-waalI imagine a deep well within me – a rich, fertile, sanctified landscape at the center of my being that is untouched by the traumas and dramas of my surface existence, an inner stream of wellness, the source of my life force and vitality, a portal into my eternal nature…

…a locus of knowing that gets it already and understands full well I am on a wild joy ride… the place from which I have come, the place from which I emerge into the world and through which I make my returns momentarily, daily, and at the end of life.

I anchor myself here.  When my outer life is particularly stormy or disorienting, or I feel any disturbance whatsoever, I know to reestablish my connection to my well within.

It reassures me to make this contact.  I am reminded of the ultimate truth; that I am infinitely safe beyond any real need for safety, and that I am here for the full experience of life; the love, the joy, the sorrow…

I am well within when I am connected to this well within me.  My awareness of the full dimension of my nature moves to the forefront of my consciousness.  I am aware of my origins, aware of my ultimate nature, I am aware of what an amazing landscape this outer universe is, teeming with richness and variety.

I am aware that on this joy ride, I get to choose to place my focus anywhere I want, to choose what I will give my life force to and what I will let go to seed within me and what I want to flower.

I have learned that what I focus on is what grows around me, and that focus by focus, thought by thought, emotion by emotion, I create the characters, story lines and conditions of my life…

photo by Marco De Waal

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Growing Up as a Species

We have colluded with a world that denies our true nature, making it an unsustainable world. In our growing up as a species, it is time to realize that we, as individuals, have an ability and an accountability to affect a new reality.

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I grew up believing the world is a dangerous place. But, after a whole lot of suffering and some careful deliberation, I have changed my mind.

Reality is magical. I can observe my perception of it changing from one thought to the next.

When I notice the world around me looking ominous, I pause, reel in, examining my thoughts and what they reflect about my strongest beliefs.  Though contextual elements vary, I can always find one of these dispirited myths at the source:

I AM SEPARATE

I DON’T HAVE ENOUGH

I CAN’T

I HAVE TO GO ALONG TO GET ALONG

1. Pause & Observe the Underlying Myth

The first thing I do is allow myself to feel compassion for my feelings. Yeah, these are powerful cultural myths being fed and reflected to us at every turn! They have been drilled into us for a long time through our creation stories, nursery rhymes, media, politics and personal relationships. We are well-practiced at them, like it or not.

Just as I would comfort one of my children suffering emotional pain, so I comfort the child in me. It’s tough being human. By doing diligence around this act of self-compassion, I not only make myself feel better, I also do not have to store the emotional pain to be dealt with at a later time.  Maybe you can also appreciate one less piece of emotional baggage. 😉

2. Update the Story

Next, I consciously change the thought. If “I am separate” is the myth currently getting the most airtime in my head, I identify the antidote – the medicinal thought to counteract this rather poisonous one. What thought do I prefer? What is more true?

My new thought could be simply, “I belong”.  I belong to this earth, this species. I am inextricably linked to everything everywhere when it comes right down to it. And I have a strong belief that I am needed to do my part, just like everyone else.

3. Look for Evidence

Next, I look for evidence to support my new thought. As I look for it, lo and behold, I begin to see it in my environment. I see how alike we are in so many ways. I see how we all want the same thing at our core. I see how we effect one another, how we effect our environment and how our environment effects us. The dispirited myth of separation begins to look comical.

Before I know it, my perception of my world has morphed. I see a world of compassion. I see a world I am undeniably a part of, a world to which I belong. I see our similarities as we are all trying to secure ourselves, to find our way, to do what we think we are supposed to be doing. I see myself in you, and you in everything.

Am I out of touch with reality? Or, am I choosing which to align with? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Let’s talk. Comment in the box below.

What does it serves to focus on a negative reality? How can we address negative situations while maintaining our energetic allegiance to the reality we prefer?

Let’s discuss that next post.

 

 

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