Not Enough

not-enoughMost of our emotional pitfalls have their roots in scarcity, though shrouded in whatever current event or credible outer storyline.  When we pause and examine beneath the surface, a subconscious reel of bad news can be distilled, an alarming headline – ‘NOT ENOUGH’.

The key to unlocking this painful myth is to slow down and retrace frame by frame the pivotal moments leading up to the plunge.

My scarcity headline hit the emotional presses last week after a fairly substantial
hiatus, providing me a chance to really dissect this process.  As is typical, someone close to me innocently did or didn’t do something that triggered an almost imperceptible avalanche of thoughts and feelings firing off at light speed, which suddenly shifted me into a feeling state of lack.

There I was in full character in the most vividly painful portrayal of my life.   I stepped back to observe this one I had suddenly become, wanting to see everything about her, what she believed about herself and who in her life she had cast in what supporting roles.

I dialogue and review with myself like I would with one of my children, careful not to dismiss, band-aid or criticize myself for my feelings.  I address it with sincere empathy like I would with a child.  “What happened?  What was said?  How did I feel when that was said?  What do I fear about that?  Under that what is my fear?  And under that…?”  I move deeper through the emotional layers until I reach the devastating root feeling.

I fully acknowledge how hurtful and intolerable it is to believe this myth of scarcity, when enough love, enough safety, security (or whatever it is) is absolutely necessary to my existence.  How intolerable scarce conditions are to the greater me.

When this process is lived consciously, it can be experienced and moved through.  The adult you is on the scene to question, illuminate, reassure and allow space for fears and feelings, and to then suggest the innate power to move to a different emotional place; the ability to meet one’s own needs by changing one’s emotional state.

If we rehearse or practice feelings and thoughts of lack long enough, we adopt them as a false identity, further strengthening their presence in our reality.  Attempting to get others to behave in a way that will validate our lovableness, worthiness and security is an incredible drain and impossible to sustain.

If we try to improve ourselves, create what we want, or conduct our relationships from a base state of emptiness, we reinforce that base state.  When we are intensely
identifying with not enough, we can never have enough reassurance from someone else.  In short, we cannot resolve the problem at the level of consciousness it was created.

To counteract the feeling state of scarcity, requires that we put everything aside to practice creating the base feeling state of its opposite.  To meditate simply means ‘to become familiar with’.  Carving out the space to focus on what it feels like to have an abundance of love, health, wealth, is ultimately how we create the conditions necessary for that to exist in our lives.

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